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This week Egyptian activist Alaa Abd El-Fattah was welcomed back to the UK by a “delighted” Labour government, who said his case had been “a top priority”.

One person who should presumably be very happy about all this is Olivia Colman, one of many celebrities to take part in the “Free Alaa” campaign:

Below you can see her in a video with other A-listers (Carey Mulligan, Mark Ruffalo, Rebecca Hall, among others), reading an essay Abd El Fattah wrote “when his son was born, and brought to visit him for the first time in prison”, titled Half an Hour with Khaled:

Could this be her finest performance to date? I love how she makes Abd El Fattah sound like he’s from East Dulwich.

In general, I can’t help noticing that Olivia Colman has quietly become the new Emma Thompson (as if one Emma Thompson wasn’t enough). Thompson also campaigned for Abd El Fattah to be released (OBVIOUSLY), and that’s not the only cross-over campaign they’ve taken part in (as you’ll soon see).

Behold, I’ve decided to treat everyone with some of Colman’s ghastly left-wing activism (and you thought Christmas was over):

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Colman teams up with Starmer - to teach boys about masculinity

Colman and her hubby (pictured below - with their pronouns so you can work out who’s who) are patrons of the charity Tender, which harnesses “the power of drama and the arts to educate children, young people and adults about healthy relationships.”

Tender received nearly £4 million in taxpayer funding between 2021-2025, and was tasked with producing guides to go with the Netflix series Adolescence.

One of its teaching resources seems to suggest “bragging” leads to genocide:

Very reassuring that these people are coming into schools.

Anyway, since when was Olivia Colman the expert on masculinity?

Colman backs random foreign climate activist

Last year, Colman and Emma Thompson (obvs), as well as other actors and musicians, called on the Home Office to reconsider the “harsh deportation” of Marcus Decker, a German climate activist.

Decker was “serving a jail sentence of two years and seven months for a protest in which he climbed the Queen Elizabeth Bridge over the Dartford Crossing and unveiled a Just Stop Oil banner in October 2022.”

In an open-letter, the actor-vists wrote:

“We believe that punishing him [Decker] with deportation in addition to the 14 months he has already spent in prison is out of proportion to the crime committed and unconducive to the public good.”

As far as I’m aware, Decker is still in the country. Woohoo…

Colman backs posho open-border charity “Choose Love”

Readers of my Substack will know I’m not the biggest fan of Choose Love, a charity that claims “Love Has No Borders”.

Many celebrities are involved with it. I’ve never seen any of them mention the near-weekly incidents of migrant crimes in this country. They just tell people to “Choose Love” - because that must mean we live happily ever after. Here’s Colman doing the same:

So there you have it. I think we can all agree that Olivia Colman has become the new Emma Thompson. But which of her activist campaigns is the worst?

More:

I thought taxpayers might like to hear the wise words of Howard Dawber, London’s Deputy Mayor for Business and Growth, who posted about cafes today:

Let's hear it for the traditional London caf. Not pretentious, not your global coffee chain. This is your honest to goodness family-run local breakfast place. They sometimes get called greasy spoons, but they aren't greasy at all. Every table's cleaned to an inch of its life... I love the sound of the sizzle on the grill, the frothing of the coffee machine, the whistle of the tea. I love the menus with their endless different combinations. Egg, sausage, beans, bubble, bacon, or is it two eggs, sausage, bacon, beans, bubble and tomato, all with thick toast. Golden with melted butter and a cup of tea that will keep any builder going for the rest of the day. So if the students are up all night studying or partying, the night workers on their way home; the day workers on their way in; mums and dads after the school run, or even deputy mayors on their tour of local businesses, let's hear it for the London caf. There's nothing quite like it's on earth.

Amazing words! How can anyone be concerned about the economy when there’s an egg on the stove (or is that two eggs…)

You will be especially delighted to know that Danbar, who was appointed in December 2023, is paid £147,770 per year. It sure pays well working for Sadiq Khan!

And while we’re at it, I thought you might like to see the other salaries of Khan’s top team which add up to approximately £2,533,458 (excluding Khan’s own salary of £165,001 per year).

• Joanne McCartney, Statutory Deputy Mayor | Deputy Mayor for Children and Families - £114,461 pa

• Jules Pipe CBE, Deputy Mayor, Planning, Regeneration and the Fire Service - £147,770 pa

• Justine Simons, OBE, Deputy Mayor for Culture and Creative Industries - £147,770 pa

• Debbie Weekes-Bernard, Deputy Mayor, Communities and Social Justice - £147,770

• Tom Copley, Deputy Mayor for Housing and Residential Development - £147,770

• Seb Dance, Deputy Mayor, Transport and Deputy Chair, Transport for London - £147,770

• Mete Coban MBE, Deputy Mayor for Environment and Energy - £147,770 pa

• Kaya Comer-Schwartz, Deputy Mayor for Policing and Crime - £147,770 pa

• David Bellamy, Chief of Staff - £155,928

• Richard Watts, Deputy Chief of Staff - £151,849

• Felicity Appleby, Mayoral Director, Political and Public Affairs - £147,770

• Sarah Brown, Mayoral Director, Communications - £147,770

• Ali Picton, Mayoral Director, Operations - £147,770

• Dr. Will Norman, Walking and Cycling Commissioner - salary absent from his profile but said to be £110,000 - £114,999 (as of 2023)

• Claire Waxman OBE, Victims Commissioner - salary absent from her profile but said to be £110,000 - £114,999 (as of 2023)

• Theo Blackwell MBE, Chief Digital Officer - £135,503

• Lib Peck, Director of the Violence Reduction Unit - £130,248

Is Carol Vorderman a “spontaneous” political activist?

In other words, when she launched into politics in 2023 (at 100mph), was this a woman having a “later-life renaissance”, as The Guardian put it. Or someone whose activism is a bit more coordinated?

As many of you may know already, I think there’s a fair amount of organising behind the scenes - and it’s not as if anyone’s hiding this:

The big clue is the fact Vorderman is part of a group titled The Movement Forward (MVTFWD) (also titled Forward Democracy Limited and Swap My Vote, as you’ll see).

MVTFWD is basically a network of annoying left-wing people on X, some of whom promote tactical voting.

Below you can who’s apparently involved, including Jemma Forte, Marina Purkiss, India Willoughby, Emma Kennedy, Femi Oluwole, Peter Stefanovic, Liz Webster (Founder of Save British Farming) Patsy Stevenson and (the exceptionally annoying) Supertanskiii:

Vorderman was literally the poster girl for MVTFWD, as you can see from its online resources: https://themovementforward.com/resources/:

The Movement Forward was registered on the Electoral Commission by a man named Tom de Grunwald, who has - according to his X profile - worked for a number of other organisations, including The Good Law Project (which Vorderman has also worked with. Small world!).

While registering Forward Democracy Limited, de Grunwald gave it two other (campaigning) names - Movement Forward and Swap my Vote. Activists also use the website “stopthetories.vote” - thus it looks as if one entity is four. This “splintering” tactic is a classic among the Left; it’s about making “the few” look like “the many”, giving the impression that political views/ ideas are more popular than they really are.

Here is Vorderman sharing the website Stop the Tories:

Best for Britain seems linked to this movement, as you can see from this tweet below from Vorderman:

Vorderman has spread the word about all four of de Grunwald’s campaign groups on her social media channels and LBC Show:

One past advert for Forward Democracy read “Subject: An election message from Carol Vorderman/ Reply-To: hello@forwarddemocracy.com”.

Media outfits that promoted Vorderman’s tactical voting initiatives include Byline Times, Politics Joe and The London Economic (the latter two being run by the same people, and all of them being heavy on Vorderman content.)

Another person behind The Movement Forward is Josh Russell, who was at Vorderman’s recent book launch (second to left below).

I think it’s fair to say he doesn’t like Tories very much:

Vorderman acknowledges him in her book Now What?

She writes “‘Stop The Tories’ was our first adventure, I’m sure we will have many more”...

Which I’m sure won’t be too hard as Russell is well versed at setting up private limited companies (albeit mostly dissolving them):

Joshua Herschell RUSSELL - total number of appointments (2)

• GEEK SPACES LIMITED - Role: DIRECTOR, Status: DISSOLVED

• DASH LABS CONSULTING LTD - Role: DIRECTOR, Status: DISSOLVED

Joshua RUSSELL - total number of appointments (5)

• UNCONTRACTY LIMITED (09502057) - Role: DIRECTOR, Status: DISSOLVED

• RADICAL OUTCOMES LTD (08315096) - Role: DIRECTOR, Status: DISSOLVED

• START BONFIRE LTD (06936437) - Role: DIRECTOR, Status: DISSOLVED

• THE TECHFUGEES FOUNDATION (10085961) - Role: DIRECTOR (Resigned), Status: ACTIVE

• METRANET COMMUNICATIONS LIMITED (04708765) - Role: DIRECTOR (Resigned), Status: ACTIVE

Josh RUSSELL: Total number of appointments (2)

• INDIVISIBLE TECH LTD (12224845) - Role: DIRECTOR, Status: DISSOLVED

• BAKER STREET COFFEE LTD (12094965) - Role: DIRECTOR, Status: DISSOLVED

Some the individual companies also have previous company names inside the link - eg: 

Here are some pics from his website below (where he has published a piece titled How to be an activist):

It’s hard not to notice the incestuous nature of some of these outfits.

Take THE TECHFUGEES FOUNDATION (10085961)

It’s run by Mike Butcher, who regularly promotes Vorderman content on his feed:

… as well as a Swap Your Vote campaign…

… that Vorderman recently plugged, retweeted by de Grunwald:

Is this what a later-life renaissance looks like, then?

More:

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Yesterday, Labour MP Clive Lewis announced he would be going to a demo this Sunday to defend refugees and migrants against far-right baddies.

Some on the Right were vexed about his post, but it’s not an unusual day out for Lewis - who frequently engages in, shall we say, “extracurricular activism”.

Go to Lewis’s social media accounts and you will be amazed by how much the man packs in on top of being an MP. Here’s a sample of the campaigns he represents:

• We Own It

• Friends of the Earth

• Green New Deal Rising

• Zero Hour

• Stand Up to Racism

• Amnesty International

• General Federation of Trade Unions

• Just Stop Oil

And doesn’t he make a lovely activist…

Photogenicity aside, I do think it’s just a little bit worrying that Lewis was hiring for a campaigns assistant with one of these mad activist groups, called Compass:

Interestingly, Compass has links to Extinction Rebellion…

… a bit like Republic, another activist group that Lewis represents…

… I believe his not swearing the oath in Parliament (in July) may have been a publicity stunt for Republic…

Sian Berry, the Green MP, also backs Republic…

… and is part of another campaign group with Lewis, titled Green New Deal Rising…

… Talking of “green new deals”, Lewis previously co-chaired the Green New Deal All Parliamentary Group with Caroline Lucas…

… which appears to have had funding from the Open Society Foundation (George Soros, dun dun dunnn) among others:

Now the APPG is finished (a real shame, given how sane it seemed…)

… but Green New Deal Rising is going strong - based at a cooperative with the Rosa Luxemburg Stiftung (a German organisation).

How does Lewis fit all his activism in and can he tell us more about the funders?

Perhaps those attending Sunday’s demo can ask Parliament’s busiest man!

Support my journalism with a paid subscription

I try to keep most of my content free - so that as many as possible can have the info. Please consider a paid subscription or PayPal/ Buy me a Coffee donation if you want me to keep nosing! (I am basically “crowdfunded”). Thank you to everyone who has supported my work to date!

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Today I will introduce you to Justine Simons, OBE, London’s Deputy Mayor for Culture and Creative Industries.

Although much attention has been paid to Amy Lamé, London’s Night Czar, and one or two others from Sadiq Khan’s top team, it occurred to me that well over half have been sorely neglected in terms of media coverage; an injustice I intend to swiftly remedy.

With Simons playing “a central role in the cultural transformation of London for two decades”, according to the London Assembly website, I thought she would make a good follow-on from my pieces on Mete Coban, Khan’s new Deputy Mayor for Environment and Energy, and Will Norman, London’s Walking and Cycling Commissioner.

Without further ado, a run-through of Simons’ achievements:

Cultural trailblazer

Simons was appointed Deputy Mayor for Culture in 2016. Currently on a salary of £147,770 per year, she’s co-chair of the capital’s “Commission for Diversity in the Public Realm”, responsible for “London’s Investment Strategy for the Creative Industries” and “established the Fourth Plinth as the UK’s biggest public sculpture prize”.

You know, that Fourth Plinth we all know and love:

Girl about town

Simons is a sociable sort, often photographed at high-profile events. In fact, going through her Instagram, you might think you’d stumbled upon the latest snaps of a Delevingne sister or similar high-society name.

Dig deeper, and you soon discover that Simons is a “disruptor”…

… who’s even worked on “the most successful artistic commission in the world”…

*according to herself

…the AMAZING Fourth Plinth:

Taxi!

Although a “disruptor”, Simons’ desire to “disrupt” doesn’t appear to extend to choice of transport. In the financial year 2023-24 Simons was getting cabs all over town (her expenses here):

Perhaps she missed the memo from Khan that Londoners should get out of their cars. It’s not like he went on about it much.

I guess it’s different, though, when you’re a Deputy Mayor and incur late finishes at events such as the Serpentine Summer Party, Olivier and Mercury Awards. These things take their toll.

Come fly with me…

Eagle-eyed readers may notice that Simons’ travel expenses (£4,637.26 total) include £3,646.97 for a flight to a summit in Brazil. This was held by the World Cities Culture Forum, which Simons is chair of…

… and founded in 2012:

A “global influencer” and “an international speaker on culture, creativity and cities”, Simons often gives keynote speeches around the world.

Here she is in Brazil, October 2023:

Madrid, February 2024:

Sydney, June 2024:

And here’s a hint of where she could travel in future (Jakarta):

Global mayors

Khan’s team are an impressively global bunch.

There’s Mete Coban MBE, the new Deputy Mayor for Environment and Energy, who clocked up around 40,000 air miles over two years - so committed has he been to his charitable work in the US, which he was able to fulfil even while being a Hackney Councillor - and making a “cheeky” pit stop to Miami.

Then there’s the Mayor of London himself, co-chair of C40 - “a global network of nearly 100 mayors of the world’s leading cities that are united in action to confront the climate crisis” - often needed around the world to impart environmental wisdom:

Clearly, as Simons put it in Sydney, this is a “Green”, “Global” and “Connected” team working for Khan.

Where will this “global influencer” and public servant extraordinaire head next?

I guess we’ll have to wait for next year’s expenses bill…

Want more Woke Waste?

Please consider a paid subscription if you would like to support my Substack features and investigations. I like to keep as many posts free as possible to grow public awareness, but I am increasingly reliant on paid subscriptions as I have cut down on other freelance work. Such is the scale of Woke Waste, it has become something of an around-the-clock job (and passion). To add, I do not want to take funding - which I have been kindly offered - so as to retain my independence. I know it would be used against me by detractors. In short, this is why paid subscriptions are so vital to my investigations. Each one gives me more bandwidth to delve into Woke Waste and all the other areas I feel compromise our rights as taxpayers - and therefore UK democracy. Ultimately my goal is to raise public awareness of Woke Waste so that we can challenge the system.

PS. Thanks for everyone’s support so far. Woke Waste (/my Substack) now has over 1.5k subscribers, 39 paid (each one means so much, and I really appreciate the kind messages I’ve had too) and tens of thousands of views. I am so glad that others share my interest in/ concern about taxpayer/ devolution/ local government issues, which the media sometimes considers too “niche”. I hope it brings some reassurance to readers, as it does to me, to know that the Awoken audience grows all the time - including messages from many “insiders” who are fed up too. So you are in good, growing and actually very diverse company! And thanks again.

Other reads:

Have you heard of Georgia Gould, the new Labour MP for Maida Vale & Queen's Park?

According to Tatler she’s the “‘red Princess’ who everyone is talking about”.

Really?

Perhaps this is the case in Westminster - but I suspect others around the country may need an introduction.

Labour Royalty

Tatler had a point when it deemed Gould the “red Princess”. She’s the daughter of Philip Gould (Baron Gould of Brookwood, who passed away in 2011), royalty as far as Blairites are concerned. As the publication explains:

Appointed by Peter Mandelson to lead the party’s strategy and polling for over two decades, Lord Brookwood was a close confidant of Tony Blair, a noblesse of New Labour associated with modernising the rose. Georgia’s mother, Baroness Gail Ruth Rebuck, is Chair of Penguin Random House, a Labour peer since 2014, and (according to Women’s Hour in 2013) the 10th most powerful woman in the country.

Gould Junior - although not a household name - is one of the most well known figures in Labour circles, not only because of her family connection to New Labour (of 90s fame), but having carved out her own career in Labour-run Camden Council, where she worked for over two decades.

Starting off as a councillor in 2010, Gould rose to become Camden’s leader for seven years, as well as becoming the Chair of London Councils (2020-24).

When she resigned, comments flooded in from people telling her how wonderful she’d been in the role:

You get the impression Gould thinks she’s rather wonderful too. Upon resigning she said:

Leading Camden for seven years has been the absolute honour of my life. I have worked everyday to protect our communities. We have done so much. I’ve been so proud to lead this amazing diverse group of councillors, who are doing an amazing job for the borough.

…before reassuring that she was “leaving Camden in safe hands”.

Looking at photos on her social media, you might feel you’re reading a Huffington Post article about inspiring women…

… or had stumbled upon local government’s answer to Meghan Markle. There’s something of a “wannabe Princess Diana” vibe about Gould, as if you’re supposed to think “that Georgia; she’s so good at connecting with ordinary people”:

Why have I singled out Gould, anyway?

Gould was elected MP around the same time I made two visits to Camden (in June and July) and was shocked by its state (think Dante’s Interno). Therefore I was a bit perplexed by the hype surrounding the “red Princess”.

Gould had barely been an MP for a week when Starmer promoted her to Parliamentary Secretary at the Cabinet Office…

… and she was being quoted in the media on the relationship between local and national government. It’s clear that, due to her experience as leader of Camden Council, the political Establishment sees her as the authority on how to make these two areas of governance work together more effectively:

But does experience = expertise?

Like Gould, (who is from Kentish Town) I am a North London girl originally. I grew up in Islington (moving to Kent when I was 13) - and Camden has a somewhat special place in my heart. Aged 11 my mum would take me to the market on the weekends. I loved everything about it; the incense, the little market stalls and hunting for delicious noodles afterwards. You get the picture; I have lovely memories of a vibrant area.

Fast forward 20 or so years…

… and Camden looks completely different - as if Tracey Emin had been commissioned to turn her 1998 “My Bed” installation into a whole borough. When I visited this summer I thought of those mother-daughter days out - and concluded that we would have never gone if it had looked like it does now.

My photograph from June:

And some from mid-July of a homeless encampment under the bridge:

The same day (that I took the photos above), my friends and I went for lunch at a pub in Camden. While inside the restaurant, we were accosted by a man asking for money. Long story short, it was quite alarming as he wouldn’t go away (and appeared sober - aka cognisant of his actions).

*Incidentally, the food at Camden Road Arms is DISGUSTING. It’s a miracle I’m still alive (seriously, the sauce on my burger tasted like the sort of thing a medieval king might poison a rival with).

If you haven’t seen Camden recently, and went purely by Gould’s social media feed, you might be convinced it’s “such a special place”…

… where there’s “so much love & commitment”:

You might even believe that Camden is tidy:

Whereas this is the actual reality:

Given the state of Camden, if I had been its leader for seven years, I would probably hide in a bunker in the Isle of Wight (which is actually my plan if Putin invades or Britain has a civil war) out of sheer embarrassment - never mind despair over the borough’s disintegration. Let’s not forget, Gould is also the former Chair of London Councils (the collective of local government in London), so she has proved herself incompetent on multiple counts.

But the red Princess appears to be living on another planet, clearly believing that the whole country needs her political skills. Putting herself forward in June for the General Election, she promised “much needed national change”.

Upon winning her seat, Gould said “Today is the start of building a better future for our community and country.”

You’ve got to admire the self-confidence, really.

A socialist plea

In her maiden speech, Gould emphasised austerity’s impact:

My inbox and my surgeries are full of people facing the homelessness crisis and skipping meals to feed their family—all in walking distance of the Chamber.

Elsewhere, in her capacity as Parliamentary Secretary at the Cabinet Office, she discussed “a perilous economic situation”, before making the case for investment in public services:

Value for money is critical to this Government. We want to make sure that every pound of taxpayers’ money is spent wisely. We are inheriting a perilous economic situation, and we need to invest in public services, but we also need to deliver social value, which includes workforce standards and environmental standards. That is how we deliver good growth.

But here’s what Gould’s idea of “Investing public services” looks like.

While people were “skipping meals”, Camden Council - the administration Gould led for seven years - spent £190,000 on an LGBT+ hate-crime charity whose activities include “rainbow kayaking”…

… and art workshops to celebrate “queer joy and creativity”:

You can read all about it here:

No one - in the mainstream media, at least - has asked why we’re supposed to be so impressed with Gould, nor what public sector reform we can expect from someone who left Camden looking like a crack den.

Best not to ask questions, I find. “Things can only get better”, after all…

Want more Woke Waste?

Please consider a paid subscription if you would like to support my Substack features and investigations. I like to keep as many posts free as possible to grow public awareness, but I am increasingly reliant on paid subscriptions as I have cut down on other freelance work. Such is the scale of Woke Waste, it has become something of an around-the-clock job (and passion!). To add, I do not want to take funding - which I have been kindly offered - so as to retain my independence. I know it would be used against me by detractors. In short, this is why paid subscriptions are so vital to my investigations. Each one gives me more bandwidth to delve into Woke Waste and all the other areas I feel compromise our rights as taxpayers - and therefore UK democracy. Ultimately my goal is to raise public awareness of Woke Waste so that we can can do something. The first step to that, in my view, is auditing as much as possible. Thanks for all your support so far.

Last week Sadiq Khan announced his new Deputy Mayor for Environment and Energy, Mete Coban MBE:

Coban said he was “honoured” to take on the £147,769-a-year role.

I’ll bet! Coban, who up until recently was Hackney Council's Cabinet Member for Climate Change, Environment and Transport, is someone I’ve followed closely in recent times.

I first noticed him in videos last year promoting Hackney’s £61 million investment in “climate action”:

It seemed an extraordinary sum, as though Hackney were being equated to a whole country in terms of its contribution to climate change.

Coban pressed upon residents the importance of protecting “children’s lungs” via Low Traffic Neighbourhoods (LTNs) and other measures.

Repeatedly Coban’s videos came into my X feed, as if the algorithms were encouraging me to nose deeper. In turn, I did.

I went onto Coban’s Instagram and discovered him living something of a double life, which he made 0 effort to disguise. In fact, he was only too happy to show off his activities - especially those involving international travel.

Photos on Coban’s Instagram often alternated between him lecturing others on climate change - and travelling abroad.

He came out with statements such as:

“As the Cabinet Member responsible for Climate Change, Environment and Transport, it’s my responsibility to ensure our children breathe clean air.”

and:

“Our GND will create green jobs, tackle toxic air pollution”

But none of this ever applied to him.

While Hackney residents had restrictions placed on their own travel, via anti-traffic measures like LTNs, Coban was jetting off all over the globe:

“guatemala dump”

“cheeky weekend in miami”:

Plus, despite being so invested in “Low traffic Hackney”…

… he even showed off about racing in Dubai:

40,000 air miles

Having seen these images, I eventually wrote this piece for The Sunday Telegraph, calculating that Coban had racked up 40,000 in air miles since taking on his climate change role:

In response, Coban said:

The majority of the flights relate to my role as the chief executive of a youth-led charity, and I make no apology for my advocacy on behalf of young people at some of the highest levels of decision-making, including at the United Nations and the White House.

I take a keen interest in how we can change the world for the better, and as such, I am invited to conferences and events around the world where I can learn and exchange best practices to take action on global issues.

I’m proud of the responsibilities that come with my roles, and travelling is an essential part of fulfilling my duties.

He had been referring to his role as CEO of the charity My Life My Say (MLMS) - which he resigned from last week after becoming Khan’s Deputy Mayor for the Environment.

In this video he expands on the importance of the job, explaining that:

Often that means that I have to travel round the world and bang the drum for young people at some of the highest levels of decision making, which includes the G20, the United Nations and at The White House.

At the time of this video, Coban was a £39k-per-year Hackney councillor.

But through MLMS, he was able to channel loftier ambitions; as though a global thought leader:

I’d wager that most people have never heard of MLMS, but it has big backers; one of its partners being the Tony Blair Institute (TBI):

Recently the two organisations held a “Future of Britain” conference together:

Alastair Campbell also seems to be a fan of the charity:

Other leftie “celebs” like Dr Shola Mos-Shogbamimu have appeared at its events:

Additional partners of MLMS include Ben and Jerry’s (not sure why it is so interested in the voting habits of young Brits, incidentally):

as well as “Tinder, Snapchat… Pearl and Dean cinemas, Rolling Stone, Premier League football clubs, SpareRoom, Outernet, and many other spaces where young people interact”…

… and Lime Bike

- which also happened to win a £2 million contract to run the bikes in Hackney in early 2022.

More here:

Mete Coban MBE, Hackney’s cabinet member for environment and transport and a close ally of Sadiq Khan, is facing backlash over his charity My Life My Say’s formal partnership with Lime, which won a £2m contract to run e-bikes in Hackney in early 2022.

“lead change within society”

According to its profile on the Charity Commission, MLMS empowers “our generation to participate in democracy, by creating spaces for dialogue across communities and generations, and by providing young and socially excluded citizens with the tools to lead change within society”:

What does this amount to, in practice?

Well here’s Coban fronting MLMS’s “Don’t Sit on the Sidelines” voter registration campaign:

He described it as a “groundbreaking initiative” that “aims to encourage football fans to register to vote for the upcoming London Mayoral and General Elections in 2024.”

But all it appears to be is a two-page spread with a QR code:

This “groundbreaking initiative” “featured in the match-day programme” at Fulham FC (a lovely coincidence for Coban, who loves football):

Further activities at MLMS include “Quarantine Question Time (QQT)”, to “strengthen the need for democracy and youth engagement” and “Challenge the media narrative that young people are to blame for the rise of Covid-19 cases”…

… and “Democracy Cafes”, a “reinvigoration of the 17th century coffee house tradition where members of society would gather and discuss local issues”, spurred on by Starbucks.

MLMS adds: “This model brings a social buzz back to coffee shops”.

With its work helping young people drink a cup of coffee, you can see why Blair and Campbell are so taken by this amazing charity…

… and why its amazing leader jetted off to Washington D.C. and Athens, where he was needed at the “highest levels of decision-making, including at the United Nations and The White House”:

Although Coban has told Hackney residents that “tackling the climate crisis starts locally”, remember: it’s different for him.

A new chapter

Despite being the youngest councillor ever elected - as Coban often likes to remind people - he has done a lot in his lifetime, clocking up up seven appointments on Companies House, five now dissolved…

… as well as going through a political evolution:

Black Lives Matter era

The Brexit Years

Coban even appears to have dabbled in football - as a former scout (post has since been deleted):

There were even whispers of a signing:

Google Translate:

Turkish football fans are especially familiar with Mete Serdar Çoban, the youngest member of Hackney Municipality.

Mete Serdar Çoban, who showed himself to be playing for Galatasaray and Inter's youth team in 2011 and got him transferred to Real Madrid (!), quickly became a legend without even kicking a ball, and even adorned the pages of world-famous newspapers. However, after the research, it was revealed that Mete Serdar Çoban had deceived everyone and did not play for any of these teams. Three years after this interesting incident, Mete Serdar Çoban, a 21-year-old politics student who came to the fore once again, hopes to inspire young people with politics this time.

Others have been less convinced by his football credentials:

But that’s all history now, and environmentalism suits him well.

A national treasure

Coban is clearly a man of many interests and talents, something that has not gone unnoticed - with him being awarded an MBE in 2021 for his work engaging young people in the UK and Europe in democracy (hopefully they didn’t forget his work in the US too):

It also explains why he is so loved by the Left and environmentalists, many congratulating him on his appointment:

On his salary of £147,769, Coban will take over from Shirley Rodrigues, perhaps most famous for pressuring researchers into changing their findings to support ULEZ:

Coban has big shoes to fill.

But I’m sure he’s more than capable of rising to the challenge.

If you went out onto the street and asked most Londoners who Will Norman was, I doubt many would have a clue. While some have very strong views on Sadiq Khan, Norman might evoke the reaction “who?” I tested this theory on a plumber this morning - he and I had a long chat about politics the same time last year when he inspected my boiler - who indeed had never heard of Norman.

The strange thing is that after Khan, Norman’s impact on London is perhaps the most pronounced; maybe even more noticeable by virtue of the fact his policies are physical/material, and can be experienced by anyone moving about the capital.

Norman’s appointment, 2016

After becoming Mayor of London in May 2016, Khan recruited a series of czars, such as the pointless Amy Lamé (more on her here).

Norman became “London’s first Walking and Cycling Commissioner”, initially on a salary of £98,000 (paid by TfL), now £110,000 - £114,999. Since then he has transformed London into something of a playground for cyclists - “LycraLand”, if you will - all the while maintaining a low profile and little scrutiny from the press (hence the impetus for this post).

Before becoming the Walking and Cycling Czar, Norman was Director of Global Partnerships at Nike and worked “with not-for-profits, governments, UN agencies and European Institutions to tackle the global inactivity crisis”. He also “established a successful social research consultancy”.

None of this exactly suggests Norman is an expert in transport planning - which is effectively what he has been given a mandate to do in the capital. His own LinkedIn shows some of his activities at Nike were working on how to “increase levels of physical activity and participation in sports around the world”, hardly the same thing as understanding the movement of transport around urban spaces.

The London Assembly makes it clear that Norman is also a Dr.

What expertise, dear reader, could this PhD reflect? Might this hold the clue to why Khan chose him to be London’s “Walking and Cycling Commissioner”?

It turns out Norman is an expert in “Politics, Migration and Transfrontier Conservation in the Mozambican Villages of the Mozambique-South Africa Borderland’”, and before that the “responsibilities of academics in public discourse” when representing Rwanda.

There’s nothing wrong with these degrees, per se, I should add - although the second is emblematic of the Western education system’s over-supply of courses the economy doesn’t need (not to trivialise the terrible subject matter, but how many jobs require an expert on British press coverage of the 1994 Rwandan crisis?) - but the point is they have nothing to do with London transport.

Even so, Norman has had an extraordinary impact on London in ways most people perceive every day, but don’t necessarily realise is one man’s doing.

Lycra lovin’

The main thing to understand about Norman is that he simply loves cycling.

In addressing transport needs, the question for him is never “how can I make things work for Londoners?” But “how can I make sure the capital is designed for me and my fellow cycling aficionados?”

Like other fanatical cyclists, I don’t think Norman can even compute the fact that not everyone likes cycling. It’s like trying to explain why humans go the theatre to an alien.

Low traffic cycleways

One Norman’s favourite bits of infrastructure is “low traffic cycleways”. TfL describes these as “Cycleways are high-quality cycle routes that link communities, businesses and destinations across London”.

Here’s an example of one:

These form a large part of his “Cycling action plan 2” (yes, there is already 1), published in 2023. In Norman’s foreword, he reinforces his ambition for “London to be the world’s best large city for cycling”.

You don’t have to understand the various terminology of the Lycra Lobby - including “cycleways” - to get the general idea. Everything is about gutting out infrastructure for cars and replacing it with cycle lanes, so that we can all live happily ever after in a perfect two-wheeled green utopia.

Take Hammersmith Bridge, which has been converted so that only cyclists can travel on it - not something everyone would have been aware was happening.

What’s the problem?

One incredibly serious issue consequence of LycraLand is that London is becoming increasingly inaccessible for people with disabilities and the elderly.

The charity National Federation of the Blind of the UK (NFBUK) has been on a thankless mission to demonstrate how much new infrastructure, including that directed by Norman, have harmed, and continue to harm, those who are blind and vision impaired. (I also wrote this article for The Critic which goes into more depth.)

“Floating bus stops” are one of the worst offenders at creating barriers to travel. They essentially put bus stops in between busy roads and cycle lanes - it’s probably easiest to understand by looking at the the image below.

If a blind/ visually impaired/ disabled/ elderly otherwise vulnerable person gets off at that bus stop, they have much less space to work with - a nightmare if you have a guide dog/ walking stick/ wheelchair/ shopping bags/ and so forth - and additionally run the risk of being knocked into by a cyclist going past.

Despite NFBUK’s valiant efforts, which include blind people demonstrating and articulating (see below) why they are struggling with the new infrastructure, Khan’s administration has pretty much blanked them - and, indeed, carried on with installations that limit vulnerable groups’ independence.

Here is an example of NFBUK trying to engage Norman, and getting nowhere - even though Norman is the “Walking and Cycling Commissioner” - aka, he is also meant to be supporting people with the former too.

The second big issue is that cycling infrastructure is increasing congestion.

If anyone points this out on Twitter, incidentally, Cycling Psychos (men who get extremely offended if you criticise cycling), will ask to see data of how this is happening.

But the evidence is everywhere. Step outside central London and you can see queues of traffic. Anyone with common sense knows that if you shrink the roads, while demand for car use remains the same (because - shock, horror! - not everyone can cycle to work) - you will gridlock areas and increase pollution levels.

Furthermore, it seems a sure-fast way to slow down emergency services.

Last year it was found that Low Traffic Neighbourhoods (LTNs), infrastructure the Lycra Lobby can’t get enough of, delayed 240 ambulance callouts for potentially life-threatening injuries or conditions in London.

That same year the London Ambulance Service (LAS) even got into a dispute with Greenwich Council, after the latter proposed to introduce new LTNs. The council reportedly claimed the scheme would help improve emergency services attendance times, where the LAS, backed by the Fire Brigade and Met, said the use of “modal filters” (such as lockable bollards to keep cars out) “have the potential to impede our response to the most critically-ill people.”

Militant cyclists all-too-often simply expect people to ignore reality, or don’t even recognise it themselves. We are somehow supposed to believe that turning cities into obstacle courses, where vehicles are constantly trapped and delayed, is good for the environment, and helps the emergency services. If anything, we need a study on how these changes correspond with the national rise in excess mortality.

Expensive travel

Norman’s changes are not only making life harder, and more dangerous, for Londoners; they are expensive too.

Last year Khan approved a budget of £4.6 million “to provide more cycle routes and infrastructure” in London. It’s not obvious that this money is being put towards particularly effective initiatives (I intend to do another piece in the future on some of these).

Conclusion (for now)

This is just the tip of the iceberg in understanding how the Lycra Lobby - who oversee a system in which funds go back and forth from taxpayer, cycle groups and elected (and unelected) bureaucrats to alter transport - now dominates London policy. In short, an unelected man who loves cycling has been given carte blanche to re-write the capital’s infrastructure without any obvious experience or the democratic mandate to justify the changes, nor any ostensible interest in opposition to the plans.

I will be doing a series more articles on Norman and other issues with Labour-run London in due course - seeing as the rest of the media seems utterly uninterested!

On yer bike, for now!