Gammon Verify 🐖✅ : The last "Days of Girlhood" for Brigitte Macron?

Welcome to this disinformation service for muggles and people who don't listen to James O'Brien

Hello - or should I say “bonjour” (translation: “good day” in French).

Today we welcome you to an episode of Gammon Verify 🐖✅ more continental than an entire series of Channel 4’s A Place in the Sun.

Our analysts have been in the Truth Lab examining one of the most challenging questions of the 21st century: is Brigitte Macron a man?”

Like the last words of Caesar, the First Lady’s gender is a debate that will last for centuries, according to my French sources, Pierre and Jean-Louis.

Although there has been plenty of speculation from domestic and international commentators, often their conclusions are more “crock” than “croque monsieur”.

That’s because very few in the world are actual certified disinformationists, like the team at Gammon Verify 🐖✅ - and me, Charlotte Gill, with my Black Belt in Lie Fighting, among three A4-pages of qualifications from MasterClass online (alongside my work at six separate charities).

A “croque monsieur” - a delicacy that French people eat for lunch

How do you work out if someone’s male or female?

It can be incredibly difficult to find out someone’s sex.

Luckily, analysts at Gammon Verify have put together a short document to help muggles and commoners navigate this scientific minefield.

Le method

We have based our guide on the case study of Dylan Mulvaney, a female whose video Days of Girlhood has become the scientific benchmark for knowing what a woman is.

Here we show, in slow motion, three of the main symptoms to look out for if you haven’t been able to ascertain someone’s sex or ask them their pronouns.

They like pink

As you can see in a footage taken from the Days of Girlhood video, liking pink is one of the biggest external indicators that someone is a woman.

Here below Brigitte Macron can be seen in Washington D.C. (2018) wearing pink, and this is not the first sighting of her in the colour. It means she passes the first test of womanhood.

They have long hair

Another significant sign that someone is female is having long hair (see below):

Whereas short hair means someone is a man.

Gammon Verify has found no photographs of Brigitte Macron with short hair. We can reveal that she has always had medium to long hair.

Left: Emmanuel Macron is a man (because he has short hair)

Brigitte Macron passes the second test of womanhood.

Hobbies

One of the biggest clues to what a woman is is conveyed in Mulvaney’s song lyrics, when she sings about “retail therapy” on Wednesday.

Retail therapy is a phrase women use to describe one of their favourite things: shopping.

One article suggests Brigitte Macron spent up to £11,000 in designer outfits to welcome G7 wives to Biarritz in 2019, strongly indicating that she is a woman.

Conclusions

Using the information above, as well as the input of gender studies graduates, Gammon Verify was able to verify that Brigitte Macron IS a woman.

Scientific formula below:

👠🚺💄

x

🫦

+

👧👚/🌺🌸

= Woman.

Plenty of disinformation is currently circulating about this matter. We urge muggles to stay vigilant and only check in with Gammon Verify.