The British Academy's £900k "Global Professorships" (paid for by YOU, the British taxpayer)

A total of £7.2 million is available - funded by the Department for Science, Innovation, Technology

During my Woke Waste trawls, something has become very clear. The British taxpayer is funding A LOT of international students.

Listening to politicians kick off about university visa changes last month, you could be convinced that international students only ever pay their way in the UK, and that, without them, most of our institutions would go bankrupt (not that this would be a bad thing).

Of course, there are international students who pay extremely high prices to study in the UK, helping to sustain otherwise declining universities. I don’t think this is very ethical, incidentally - to treat foreign students as walking wallets. But the point is that most people only ever think of international students as adding into the economy, rather than subtracting from it.

Well, here’s the truth. Brits regularly subsidise international students, and they’d be shocked by the figures involved - as well as who’s receiving it. My article below highlights some of the talent we’ve subsidised, such as a French student who now has a PhD in “black worldmaking practices in contemporary France” (which she achieved when not hanging out in Cambridge University’s “Palestine encampment”) and an Indian woman wanting to decolonise “early years education” in Scotland.

The British Academy appears particularly keen to splash Brits’ cash on international talent. It makes you wonder why the Academy has “British” in the name, given the scale of its “Global Professorships” scheme (as you will see).

The Academy is after “high-risk, curiosity-driven research in the humanities and social sciences in a UK research institution”. Researchers must be “based outside the UK at the time of application” and their academic “outputs” can involve “creative practice (e.g. musical composition and performance, visual practice, creative writing and film making)”.

Because what the UK is really crying out for is more humanities and social science students…

It adds:

“The Academy wishes to encourage applications from historically and/or structurally disadvantaged groups and female researchers.”

(Incidentally, when do “structurally disadvantaged groups” stop being “structurally disadvantaged”? Every job now seems to be aimed at the “structurally disadvantaged”/ “marginalised”/ “under-represented”.)

Once successful, The Academy will provide up to £900,000 per award (!), each “expected to run for four years”.

The British Academy anticipates it will offer “up to 8 awards” in this round.

So the final cost could be £7,200,000.

Additional benefits

Not only are candidates offered up to £900,000 each, but they are eligible for “childcare support”, “relocation and visa arrangements” - including those for their dependents.

The British Academy also seems to be fairly relaxed about the applicants spending time in their “home institution overseas”. So you could get £900k in funding from Brits, then head back home for a bit. Nice work if you can get it!

Furthermore, the British Academy will subsidise researchers’ expenses “including travel, subsistence, accommodation, consumables, training, conferences”… Anything else - lunch at The Ritz?

Here’s the bit where I feel a bit sorry for would-be Global Professors. They have to submit a “gender equality statement” as part of their application (even though they may also be “structurally disadvantaged female researchers” - aka those who need the “gender equality” initiative in the first place. Can you imagine young women in Afghanistan, hoping the Taliban don’t see as they type out their statement on diversity?).

The programme is funded by the UK's Department for Science, Innovation, Technology”. You know, that department supposedly run by a Conservative government.

It’s the same one responsible for UKRI (more below):

UKRI being the body that brought you Professor Porn (via its subsidiary, the Arts and Humanities Research Council):

And other strange studies (another AHRC classic below):

I’m beginning to feel somewhat discombobulated by Woke Waste.

Should we get our coat? The British people?!

The public sector seems overwhelmingly hostile towards us.

To emphasise, I’ve nothing against international students, per se. It’s important for the best and brightest in the world to be mobile, sharing and learning from each other.

But we are talking about humanities researchers; the type that regularly produce this type of dross (below), which cost taxpayers £120,766.

Believe me, I have read hundreds of studies that aren’t much better - so this isn’t an anomaly.

Moreover, Britain is broke. Women my own age can’t afford childcare - yet we are now expected to subsidise the dependents of “Global Professors”?

Make no mistake, this will not be my last article on this subject; I’m spoilt for material.

Another day under Tory austerity, ey…